My Intentions With This Ladle Are Pure and Wholesome

ladle

I got a new ladle at Ikea this past weekend, and I’m psyched out of my mind to use it tonight. Like, really really excited. I’ve been searching for the right soup recipe all day to break in this beautiful ladle. Maybe a shrimp bisque, or a watermelon gazpacho. I don’t know. Maybe I won’t make a soup at all. Maybe I’ll do a chili!

I’m giddy with the prospects.

Yep. Really excited about that ladle.

Is that sad? I can tell you think it’s sad. On the one hand, it’s just a big ass spoon. I shouldn’t get too worked up over something that simply transfers soup from a pot to a bowl. A soup transferring device, if you will. It’s not like we’re talking about a new puppy.

But it’s so shiny. And really solid. There are some kitchen utensils that are so heavy and sturdy, you just know you’ll be able to count on them for years to come. That’s how solid this ladle is. It’s heavy…like a weapon. If an intruder tries to break into our house, I could use this ladle to defend my family. That’s how solid it is.

But be honest with me, you think I’m pathetic, don’t you?

It’s not like I’m having dreams about the ladle. We’re not in a relationship. That would be silly. It’s a spoon and I’m a man. How would that even work?

And yet, I can sense you judging me as I write this. Maybe if you knew how flimsy my previous ladle was, you’d understand my enthusiasm. Listen, this thing could barely hold a half cup of chowder. And forget about a hearty stew—it couldn’t support the girth of meat and potatoes. Stupid, flimsy ladle.

And did you ever think that maybe I’ve reached some sort of weird “stay at home” Zen state of being, where I can finally appreciate the simple pleasures in life, like a big ass shiny spoon, or 10 minutes of not talking? Maybe my ladle infatuation is a sign that I’ve reached a higher level of spiritual awareness, and everyone else is pathetic.

Chew on that, Judgy McJudgerson.

No, you’re right, it’s sad. I need a hobby. In the meantime, hit me up with good soup recipes.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “My Intentions With This Ladle Are Pure and Wholesome

  1. My wife and I sat with you guys 2 years ago at the mustard chefs challenge in asheville. We had a great time with you and I knew we were kindred spirits. Hope all is well and I will get Megan to get on those soup recipes!!!!

  2. Downright scary how much I can relate to this. Was giddy over a new toothy zester I bought the other day after the old one could only manage to gently gum lemon rind. May the retired zester find new life as a mark-making tool in my mixed media art (be careful what hobby you find; I love art even though it does make it damn near impossible to clear out that junk drawer … errr, corner … alright: ROOM). Looks to me like that ladle could also scoop out some servings of lemon-dijon-dill chicken salad … the guys in my hubbies’ poker club loved that dish … will send the recipe whenever the ladle is ready to explore new vistas! Thanks, as ever, for ladling up the smiles …

  3. Sadly, I can completely relate. I lived in South Africa for a while and brought back and extensive series of wooden spoons that seemed like they might be useful at the time. Unfortunately, they can be used for exactly two purposes: as salad tongs and to half-ass mix cookie dough (not to right shapes for mixing). Every time I try to use one to transfer soup to a bowl, I’m disappointed. And each time I think I must buy a ladle. You are one step ahead. Enjoy it!

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