Reason #5 Why I’m a Shitty Dad

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Yesterday, my kid had to eat a stale cracker he found mushed in the bottom of his cup holder in the mini van. Because I forgot to pack any food on a long excursion to the pool. That’s right. I forgot food.

That’s the second time I’ve forgotten to feed my children. The first time, they were babies and wouldn’t stop crying. I tried peek-a-boo, I tried their favorite monkey toy, I tried putting them down for a nap, I tried hitting myself on the head with a book, I tried holding them, funny faces, sad faces…nothing worked. They just cried and cried.

“Wait,” my wife said. “When was the last time you fed them?”

Right. Food.

It takes a special kind of idiot to forget to feed his kids. Twice.

 

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4 thoughts on “Reason #5 Why I’m a Shitty Dad

  1. I usually pack a cooler full of snacks to go swimming, but the other day I knew we’d only have an hour or so, and so we took only 1 thing, a watermelon. My kids looked at me and said “that’s it?” and my husband had the nerve to chime in “yes, she didn’t prepare for you at all today!” …. I gues IT HAPPENS!

  2. The worst is when you’ve spend the last ten minutes yelling at them in the car to sh.. the f.. u.. Lose temper, shout, make them feel miserable (and do they care..) and then realize you didnt give them food. The food that was, for instance, perfectly stored in the little bag you’ve prepared at home and left there.

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