Drink of the Week: PBR, 24 Ounces

No, not a Tall Boy. A 24 ouncer, which is like, a third bigger than a Tall Boy and demands significantly more commitment. Preferably, the beer should be pre-warmed in the bottle cage of your road bike. Enter that road bike and Super Tall Boy PBR in a sprint race up the side of a mountain—the kind of race where Olympic medalists show up, and everyone talks about “tapering their training.” You should immediately get disqualified from the race because your wife beater and jean shorts don’t meet US Cycling Association “standards,” but then demand to race anyway, promising to donate all of your winnings to the charity of the USA Cycling Association official’s choice. Drink that warm PBR slowly, at the finish line at the top of the mountain, in front of that USA Cycling Association official. Preferably, you should drink it with at least two other friends, also over-worked, over-tired dads dressed in jean cutoffs and wife beaters. Because sometimes, dads need to get together and do something that embarrasses their wives.

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17 thoughts on “Drink of the Week: PBR, 24 Ounces

  1. Son, how in the world do you get Keener and Jeremiah to debase themselves like that – I understand you given your very difficult childhood (See Daddy-Drinks “Safety Dance,” 19 April 2012) growing up in suburbia.

  2. You are so brave. To avoid embarrassing my wife I put the PBR in my opaque water bottle and fill my camelback from the boxed wine. Need I say, I don’t get much excercise in with this method.

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